Raising a disciplined child
is about encouraging our kids to manage their feelings and their behaviour as they work towards certain goals. It is a key ingredient for SUCCESS as it helps our kids to be persistent in achieving their goals and aspirations.
Here are some of my tips on how to raise a disciplined child:
1. Power of language
We need to choose the words we speak to our kids. As parents, our role is to love our child. As we harness the power of language, we learn to communicate that our love for our kids is a given and is not up for negotiation. And it is not them, but certain behaviours that we do not approve of.
Negative labels placed upon kids, such as lazy, irresponsible, difficult, etc., disempower, discourage and demotivate.
Instead, replace these words with their positive traits you wish to amplify. For example, if your child is kind, or friendly, or generous, do not miss the opportunity to convey these to them.
2. Collaborate when calm
Our children are more likely to understand our expectations, listen and process information when they are in a state of calm. Stress and anxiety, on the other hand, interfere with the way our kids experience reality. Their minds are preoccupied with their own feelings and concerns, making it harder for them to fully engage with their parents’ words and actions.
3. Stage vs age
When we talk about child development, it’s important to differentiate between two concepts: stage and age. While age refers to the chronological age of a child, stage refers to the child’s level of development in particular areas.
As parents, it is crucial for us to know which stage our child is at. We need to understand that children develop at their own pace and our expectations of them must align with their stage.
Ask: Am I setting expectations that my child cannot meet? Am I setting them up for disappointment and/or failure?
Knowing what stage our kids are at ensures that they are supported and challenged appropriately.
